Link: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/07/23/california.homeless.bar/index.html?iref=NS1#fbid=EHOveuYeVVT

It's not often we have an inspirational headline of the week... and even though this one turned out in an arrest - you have to hand it to the guy for being enterprising.

Link: http://www.wsbt.com/news/local/Third-degree-burns-stitches-for-South-Bend-brothers-in-law-fighting-over-frying-pan-98166144.html

How can you go wrong with a news story that ends with ....

"Police did report finding two pieces of bacon in the closet."

Link: http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2010/06/chalmette_man_stole_duck_from.html

Apparently the authorities kinda frown on that -

An apparently hungry Chalmette man has been arrested for stealing a duck from a public park with the intent of cooking it up for a meal, the St. Bernard Parish Sheriff's Office said.

The Sheriff's Office said Ashmeer Tahir, 38, 3713 Juno Drive, was booked with theft of an animal Monday after someone saw him remove a muscovie duck from Sidney Torres Park in Chalmette. A sheriff's deputy found Tahir at his home with a duck inside a bucket in his van, the Sheriff's Office said in a news release.

Link: http://timesargus.com/article/20100629/NEWS02/6290333/0/7Day

Live in Montpelier Vt? Then it's perfectly fine to walk in the middle of the town buck naked. So long as you don't do the taking off the clothes part outside....

Link: http://www.tampabay.com/news/courts/criminal/article1104151.ece

Hey - if you're looking to leave work early, there are a lot of ways to get that done. This particular way though, is not recommended.

Link: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/state/keys-man-trapped-by-fallen-stuffed-water-buffalo-743681.html

Man, if ya gotta get beaten into the ground by something - I'd pick just about anything other than a dead water buffalo.

Link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7606600/Man-loses-licence-after-drink-driving-in-toy-Barbie-car.html

This ones from the UK and involves reckless driving -

Mr Hutton, who has four children Simon, 17, Calum, 14, Laina, 12, and John, 11, admitted being a 'complete twit'.

Link: http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/03/weird_teacher_watch_veteran_te.php

Guess the words of wisdom here are "if you're gonnna fart - maybe you shouldn't elaborate on each one."

Link: http://www.sltrib.com/ci_14454828?source=most_viewed

Um, guys? Watch out if you get blindfolded and promised a surprise.

Link: http://www.examiner.com/x-39000-Entertainment-Industry-Examiner~y2010m2d20-Transsexual-performer-vomits-on-Susan-Sarandon

I so don't even understand one aspect of this headline. I'm kinda glad I don't.

Link: http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2010/feb/09/man-stinks-up-port-orchard-wal-mart-thinking-its/

Tell me this doesn't remind you of every man who goes shopping with his lady....

Link: http://www.fdlreporter.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2010301180094

If you're ticketed for "Rocking Out" - that's respectable... um, well it was right up until now.
This is one of those rather inconceivable headlines.

Link: http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-national/man-crushed-to-death-by-computer-server-20100112-m4kr.html

literally. Poor guy, hope it ran Linux at least. It's suck to get killed by Windows.

Link: http://newsok.com/man-uses-rear-end-to-smash-exs-72-inch-tv-police-say/article/3430123?custom_click=rss

Ah, sometimes the headline of the week jumps out and whacks you on the head.... or TV , or TV with your Butt... in Revenge.....

oh go read it.

Link: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-50-funniest-headlines-of-2009

Well, it's about that time to start wrapping up the decade. Expect a goodly batch of top lists and rundowns.
This one is pretty cool as they captured the images of the headlines.

Link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,579799,00.html?test=latestnews

Whats the most unlikely of all ways to die? - Answer, Bubblegum.

She won't press charges if Jesus isn’t harmed

Link: http://www.thelocal.se/22480/20091005/

Proving once again that passing out is not the best of ideas ....

Link: http://news.postbulletin.com/newsmanager/templates/localnews_story.asp?z=2&a=418248

Ah, the good old days - funny thing is that I can see myself doing pretty much the same when I was in my early 20's.

Link: http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE58O4SC20090925

This one's just a bit stupidly juvenille, I hope they counter-sue for infinity.

Link: http://www.geek.com/articles/news/massachusetts-postal-worker-stole-3012-netflix-dvds-20090923/

Or this one did - he increased his personal collection by 3012 movies.... for a while.

Link: http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE58A4Z220090911

Right, how do you take a show that shows off dead bodies and ramp it up to the next level?

Link: http://www.rutlandherald.com/article/20090907/THISJUSTIN/909079995

Oh this is fun .... the plan was good, but the execution was really sloppy.

Link: http://www.wafb.com/global/video/flash/popupplayer.asp?ClipID1=4090621&h1=Alleged%20%22beer%20between%20the%20legs%22%20bandit%20arrested&vt1=v&at1=News&d1=144000&LaunchPageAdTag=News&activePane=info&rnd=6652576

Pardon the commercial at the beginning but the story is well worth it

Link: http://tinyurl.com/lg9tq6

Yeah, this one - you couldn't make something like this up - well, unless you were incredibly warped....

Link: http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2009/08/04/wife-mistresses-ambush-cheating-man-glue-genitals-to-his-stomach/

Whats the worse thing that could happen if you're caught cheating with several ladies?

Actually the worse thing is that this guy was cheating with these ladies.

Oy!

Link: http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE56E3XV20090715

Remember kids - Fix a Flat is Flammable. Apparently Flammable enough so that it can blow up an apartment.

The blast pushed his living room wall into the building's stairwell and caused extensive damage to walls, windows and furniture.

Link: http://www.nhregister.com/articles/2009/07/07/blotter/doc4a5322e59ccdd984252010.txt

not sure what's up with my home state lately but we seem to be under the influence of Florida or something....

Link: http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/07/man_dies_after_falling_into_va.html

A man dies after falling into a vat of chocolate....

He should have yelled "fire!" ya know,

cus no ones gonna save you if you yell "chocolate!"

Link: http://www.wcpo.com/news/local/story/Mans-Alleged-Organ-Artistry-On-TV-Brings-Charge/qrm-wmojYUqqpHHeKaaaeg.cspx

If you're gonna mis-behave at Sears - be sure to run faster than the rent-a-cops they have... or you might end up like this dude.

Link: http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/5339554

Raleigh police arrested a North Carolina State University student last week who was accused of creating a "monster" out of construction barrels and placing it on the side of the road.

I dunno - ok, make him pay for the barrels but darn, that's a fine fine Traffic Monster eh?

Link: http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-beer-box-bandit,0,2059361.story

You gotta love this guy for the ingenuity - in my day you'd only get a beer box on the head if you were the first one to pass out. This guy makes it more of a fashion thing.

Link: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/05/21/Man-charged-in-penis-puppet-incident/UPI-25521242932014/

Shoulda tiny url'ed this one but I'm in too much of a hurry to play with me new Blackberry Storm...

You can get a basic idea of the oddness from the link.

Link: http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE54A5WL20090512

Yup, you just can't make stuff like this up - 10 points for the most inappropriate comment

Link: http://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=464986

Nothing not worksafe or kidsafe here -just a report that will leave you feeling creepy.

oh and be sure to read to the end for the bonus find.